


On The Edge Of Forever

by Lil_Lottie



Category: Little Women (2019), Little Women Series - Louisa May Alcott
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Weddings, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29341578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lil_Lottie/pseuds/Lil_Lottie
Summary: “I found something in my room; a certain key to a certain mailbox. It feels like it has been years since we used it, but I felt the urge to open it for some reason. I never considered myself to be sentimental. But there I was, Jo, staring at an open mailbox with a letter that had my name on it.”Laurie paused, and Jo inhaled too sharply, too loud.He continued, “I read it, Jo. I read it over and over, and at first, I thought it was a joke. I thought you were mocking me.”“I would never.” It was barely a whisper, and Jo was sure Laurie didn’t hear it.“I didn’t know what to do.”Or, Jo and Laurie get married.
Relationships: Theodore Laurence/Josephine March
Comments: 7
Kudos: 59





	On The Edge Of Forever

“Laurie is on his way home. He wrote saying he would escort Amy since Aunt March is sick.” 

Laurie sent a letter.

Jo didn’t read it.

She didn’t read any letters Laurie sent. It was payback for him leaving.

“Poor Aunt March.”

“Jo,” Meg said. She knew when her sister was hiding something--or avoiding something, “Aren’t you happy to see them again?”

Jo crossed her arms against her chest as if building a wall between herself and the conversation, “To see Amy.”

Meg pushed, “And Laurie?”

Why does it always have to be about Laurie?

Beth asked her if she missed him. 

Marmee asked her if she was looking forward to seeing him again. 

She wasn’t sure she liked the answer her mind supplied.

“I fear Laurie is angry with me still. I do not blame him if he is.”

They were in Meg’s small cottage. It was warm but cozy. Familiar. It was still midday, but candles flickered, casting a shadow on Meg’s face. Jo had to look away.

Meg didn’t move from her seat at the dining table, but she reached out for her sister, even though she was out of arm’s reach. “If he is, that is his own fault. You do not deserve his scorn for following your heart.”

Jo put her hands on her hips as she paced the room, “What if,” She inhaled deeply as if scared to voice her thoughts, “What if my heart tells me he is what I want? I’ve figured it too late, and half of me wishes I never figured it out at all.”

It was strange to say it. Jo asked her mother if she thought Laurie would ask her to marry him again, and in return, her mother asked if she loved him. She didn’t have an answer then. She thinks she has one now.

“Figuring things out is a step in the right direction, but no one but you can decide where these steps lead except you. You don’t owe anyone anything.”  


Jo couldn’t help but think that, maybe, she owes herself something.

\------

Jo wrote a letter.

Jo placed the letter in the mailbox.

Jo forgot about said letter.

\------

The beach was cold, lifeless. Almost as lifeless as the pale girl Jo was sitting next to. It was Beth, but not Beth in life. She was odd and still—a ghost. Jo watched as the waves rolled up and crashed on the shore. There was life in those waves. 

“What are you doing, Jo?”

Jo couldn’t make herself look at Beth. “Thinking.” Jo touched the sand and watched as the small grains slipped through her fingers.

“About?”

Jo wondered why even here she was being asked questions she didn’t want to answer, “I don’t know. Laurie. Amy. Writing. A European trip I never got to take.”

“Do you miss him?” It was an echo of a past conversation. This time Jo’s answer was different.

“More than I thought possible.”

\------

“Jo, wake up.”

The voice cut through her dreams like a knife, but the sight in front of her was a vision straight out of a fantasy. 

“Teddy!” It was said in almost disbelief, but he was there. She reached out to touch him, to make sure he was real. The warmth she felt when she wrapped her fingers around his wrist proved he wasn’t a phantom.

“I was afraid you’d be mad at me.” It was earnest, and a bit sad, like was a confession meant to be whispered but forced to be spoken aloud.

It’s funny how he says that. Jo thought the same thing. “I could never be angry with you. Never, my boy.” And she meant it. 

Laurie smiled at her, but it was apparent something weighed down on him. 

“Where is Amy?” She asked. 

“Downstairs. I wanted to see you first.” It sounded final—Jo sunk into the back of her chair.

“While in Europe, I realized that I will care for you my entire life. I think that, in my travels abroad, my feelings for you have lessened. I don’t love you the way I once did.”

Jo wondered if he was trying to hurt her or to build a wall to protect himself. 

She pulled her hand back into her lap. “Okay.”

“You’re not mad?”

“How could I be mad? My best friend and my little sister are back home. Things finally make sense again.”

\------

Except they didn’t. Laurie said he didn’t love her anymore. She wanted to call him a liar. How could he go from “I’ll never love anyone else” to “I don’t love you” in a year's time? 

She blamed Amy. They spent their days together in Paris. Jo pictured them walking under trees in the sunset, fingers brushing and twitching with desire for more. She hated it. She hated losing to Amy. She wondered if Laurie didn’t tell her everything during their conversation in the attic. It was unusual for there to be secrets between them. 

Jo never kept secrets. She was an open book, as open as her stories. All of them were a piece of her. They were things she was too ashamed to admit she wanted out loud. 

Jo kept herself in the attic. Suddenly in the midst of all this, she found inspiration to write. She wrote day and night through hand cramps and hunger pains. Jo had to get it down. It wasn’t a diary or a confession; it was a honied lie that tasted sweeter than the truth. It was her story. 

Days passed, Jo wasn’t sure how many. Her mother left her food three times a day, but she hardly touched it. 

She wouldn’t stop working until her book was done.  
She heard someone come up the stairs; the steps were heavier than Marmee’s but not as loud as her father’s. It was somewhere between trying too hard to keep quiet and yet not hard enough. 

The whiff of cinnamon and old books told her exactly who it was.

Laurie was on the steps watching her. His head turned, staring.

She didn’t look at him. She couldn’t.

“Can I read your book?” Was the first thing Laurie said to her.

No hi, no good to see you, no how have you been. It was a simple question that required a simple answer. It should be easy, but it’s not. It still felt like there was an ocean between them. Jo never learned how to build a boat.

“You can read it when it’s done and not a second sooner.” Finally, she glanced back and caught his eye. He smiled. Jo looked back at the sheets of paper on the ground.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” Laurie sounded serious, and Jo hated it. He was never any fun when he was serious. She wasn’t sure why she was scared.

“I found something in my room; a certain key to a certain mailbox. It feels like it has been years since we used it, but I felt the urge to open it for some reason. I never considered myself to be sentimental. But there I was, Jo, staring at the open mailbox with a letter that had my name on it.”

Laurie paused, and Jo inhaled too sharply, too loud.

He continued, “I read it, Jo. I read it over and over, and at first, I thought it was a joke. I thought you were mocking me.”

“I would never.” It was barely a whisper, and Jo was sure Laurie didn’t hear it.

“I didn’t know what to do.”

Jo didn’t look at him. His eyes, much like her own, were an open book. She didn’t want to read it. “You said you didn’t love me, Teddy, in this exact room, not more than a week ago.”

Suddenly Laurie was in front of her. She wasn’t sure how he moved so quickly. It was almost as if he was a ghost haunting her, appearing and reappearing only when he pleased. 

He placed his hand on her jaw and guided her head up to look at him. It was apparent then, the pain he felt. His eyes were tortured and red as if he cried long and hard over a girl who rejected him. 

Over a girl who loved him.

“Say what you said was true, Jo. End my suffering. Is there truly no worse fate than not having me by your side?” She felt his hot breath over her face. He was everywhere, consuming her.

Jo wrote hundreds of pages of words that flowed out of her. She wondered why she couldn’t speak them now. 

Jo felt her mouth run dry. “Tell me you love me, Laurie. Tell me what you said was a lie told only to hurt me, and maybe then I can answer your question.”

“I loved you from the moment we met, and I loved you every moment after. The only constant in my life is you. I was hurt and scared that you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. I thought if I said that, things could go back to the way things were.”

Jo closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his. The contact burned. It fizzled and sparked like a candle that had just been lit. 

Laurie kissed her back, their lips moving as if it was dance--as if it was something they practiced a hundred times before. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. It was soft, so soft, but fierce and hungry. Her lungs burned, desperate for the oxygen that kept her alive, but she thought maybe she didn’t need it as long as she had Laurie’s lips on hers.

He pulled away first, breathless, panting, and bright red. Jo smiled, a small laugh falling out of her lips. “I meant what I said in the letter.”

Laurie blinked. It was like he was processing the words she said. His hands were still on her waist. It felt like they were searing into her, and his fingertips would brand her for the rest of her life.

Jo hated the silence. Her pulse quickened as her heart beat dangerously in her chest. Laurie could reject her. They would be even if he did. He could say it was a mistake. 

She tried to step away, but Laurie’s hands stayed planted where they were, his eyes boring into her own. 

He kissed her again, and Jo couldn’t stop herself from melting into it. One of her hands slid to his neck and the other to his hair. She tangled her fingers into the familiar curls that still adorned his head. 

When they parted, Laurie dropped his hands--Jo hated how cold she suddenly felt. A fading tingle replaced the burning. It was like a candle going out. For a split second, she thought she did something wrong, and he was going to leave. Instead, he dropped to his knee and took her hands. 

“Will you marry me, Jo? I don’t have a grand speech or a plan, and I’ll probably be a terrible husband, but you... you make me better. You always have. I love you.”

“Yes.” She brought his hands to her lips, “I’ll marry you.” 

Laurie kissed her again and again. His first vow to her was that he would never stop.

\------

The only thing worse than planning Meg’s wedding was planning her own wedding, Jo decided. 

She had to approve flowers and color schemes and organize a guest list.

“Why can’t we just stand in the garden, say I do, and have it be over with?” Jo muttered as she flopped on the couch.

It wasn’t graceful or ladylike, and that’s precisely why she did it. Soon she’d be the wife of someone from high society. She would need to play the part. But only after she becomes Mrs. Laurence. Till then, she’ll play up the role of Jo March.

“Because,” Meg said as she sat next to her sister, “Laurie is quite an important person.”

Jo rolled her eyes. She could not imagine him being anything other than her boy. “Why do I have to do this?”

“Do you love him?”

Jo stared at her. “Of course I do.”

“That’s why.”

\------

Jo realized she could ask Laurie if they could do something simple. A small backyard wedding with their family and a handful of friends. It would ease Jo’s anxiety. Standing in a church being stared at by hundreds of people was the type of scrutiny she’d certainly crack under. 

She wasn’t sure how to bring it up. 

Jo’s biggest fear was to lose her independence and not be able to make her own choices. Her wedding was only the first of many decisions she could no longer make. She had to be a good wife and do what Laurie wanted. 

Laurie wanted a church wedding. 

It was rare their wants didn’t line up.

Laurie came strolling in as if he owned the place. She tried to be angry at him over wedding details but watching him bow and as if in a play and take her mother’s hand, pressing a kiss to it, made any ill-feeling melt away.

He turned to her, and there was a smile on his face that matched her own. Twin flames, her mother said of them. Jo never understood till now.

“There she is, the beautiful future Mrs. Laurence basking on the couch and letting the day waste away.”

She didn’t move from her spot on the couch. “I can only do so much in one day, Mr. Laurence. I have toiled endlessly over the biggest farce of the season with little help from the man whose’s idea this was.” It was a joke; she said it lightheartedly, but his face fell. 

Laurie’s eyes glanced to the kitchen where the oldest of the March clan argued over the wedding menu. Amy was off who knows where. This once bustling house now a shadow of what it once was. Jo leaving will be another flame snuffed out, leaving only Amy to fill in the space that once fit four.

“That is what I wished to talk to you about. Would you join me for a walk?”

They follow the road that led off to the woods. It’s a road they’ve traveled hundreds of times before, laughing and running, pretending they were pirates off on some grand adventure.

The silence was almost too much, and Jo was about to say something, anything. Half of her wanted to beg for Laurie to break her heart gently, and the other half wanted to fight and scream and make him suffer the way she did. 

“I thought it over, and I think a church wedding isn’t us. I was hoping we could do what Meg did and have the ceremony in the yard outside of my grandfather’s house.”

A wave of relief rushed over Jo as she pulled Laurie into her arms. “That sounds perfect. I hate the idea of us standing at the front of a church like we're on display. You’re right; that’s not us.”

Laurie squeezed her tightly as he pressed his lips to his forehead. “And to think I was worried you would be opposed to that idea.”

“Teddy, how many times have we wanted different things?”

\------

The day of the wedding came quicker than Jo thought possible. Weeks turned into days and days into hours. 

The woman staring at Jo was a stranger. A stranger she knew her whole life but still distant and mysterious. Jo was wearing the gown she was to be married in. It was her mother’s, once, hidden away in the depths of her memory. It was a bit out of fashion and nothing like the white dresses that have become the trend. Laurie offered to buy her one. Out of all the yeses she said recently, that was one more she couldn’t provide. 

In this dress, she’d go from Marmee’s daughter to Laurie’s wife. That was how she wanted it.

It was Jo March’s final decision.

Another figure came into view, right behind Jo. Jo smiled at her sister as she came up behind her.

Meg rested her head on Jo’s shoulder. The sisters made eye contact through the mirror. “You look like a bride. I never thought I’d see the day.”

“I’m full of surprises.”

They laughed, quiet but together. 

When they finally stopped, Meg asked, “Are you happy?”

Jo couldn’t lie, “Incredibly. I want this. The only thing I ever wanted more was to get published. I never dreamed I would get both.”

Meg nodded her head and wiped a tear that rolled down her face, “Let’s run, Jo. I’ll work and keep the house, and you can write, and we’ll be together away from husbands and responsibilities. We have been and always will be interesting. You’ll be bored of him in two years.”

Jo once again found herself laughing. It was another echo of a different conversation. It was a speech she gave Meg in her most desperate hour. She thought then her family was breaking and would never again be whole. She had never been so wrong.

“You would never leave your babies,” Jo said.

Meg’s eyes sparkled, “Or John.”

Jo snorted, “Boring old John Brooke. Maybe we should run.”

Jo made a mental note that she’d make John pass in his sleep if she ever wrote a sequel to her book.

“Tomorrow, you will be Mrs. Laurence. For now, let me enjoy Ms. March.”

\------

Jo took her father’s arm as they walked down the aisle. Music floated in the air as she walked towards the man waiting for her at the altar. 

Her Teddy.

They took hands, and Laurie bent down to press a kiss to her cheek. It was against tradition, but no one seemed to mind. “Forever.” He whispered. 

Mr. March performed the ceremony as he did for Meg all those years ago. He read passage after passage, but Jo listened to little of it. She was too busy staring at Laurie as he made facial expressions to try and make her crack. Jo forced her lips into a tight line to prevent a laugh from bubbling up. 

“And I am blessed to unite these two under the eyes of God, for may they find eternal happiness and peace. I am humbled to stand here now on such an important day, though by the way these two behave, I’m sure neither of them knows the definition of important or manners.”

Jo couldn’t stop herself from laughing. Of course her father noticed what Laurie was trying to do, and she’s sure her family saw it, too. She had to admit that what her father said was right. Neither of them knew how to be well behaved. That’s why they worked. That’s why she’s no longer afraid.

“Do you, Theodore Laurence, take my beautiful, wonderful Josephine March to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do,” Laurie said. His eyes sparkled as if agreeing with every word her father said.

“And do you, Josephine March, take Theodore Laurence to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” 

The crowd cheered as Laurie pulled Jo in for a quick kiss. When he pulled back, he looked at Mrs. March, “And a kiss for my darling mother!”

Mrs. March laughed as he came to her side and pressed a kiss to her cheek. A thank you formed on his lips, meant for her only, but Jo didn’t miss the way her new husband’s lips moved in his quiet whisper to her mother. 

They were her family. 

Jo couldn’t be happier. 

\------

Jo made her way through the small crowd, hugging her family and saying thank you for coming, making sure to press kisses to cheeks when appropriate. 

She had a target in mind; she was looking for Amy. The two talked little since Amy arrived back from Europe. Jo knew her wedding to Laurie strained things between them, even though these things went mostly unsaid. 

Amy was standing with her friend, sipping from a flute of champagne. Jo knew Amy’s friend well. She was a fiery redhead with a spirit that matched her own. Amy was first to say, “Congratulations, Jo! Or should I say Mrs. Laurence!” 

Her friend, Katie, smiled, “Congratulations, Jo.” 

Jo nodded at her and then looked back at Amy, “Walk with me, my darling sister.”

They didn’t stray far but only went far enough so their words wouldn’t travel to ears not meant for them.

“I need to know,” Jo started, “I need to know you’re not mad at me. I know you have loved Laurie since the beginning. You were never good at hiding these things. Please don’t hate me for loving him, too.”

It caught Jo by surprise when Amy began to laugh, “Oh, Jo, did you think that after all this time I could hate you for marrying him? I love him only as a brother, and now I am lucky enough to call him such.”

Jo pulled the younger girl into her arms. Her fears were eased by knowing she didn’t have her sister’s scorn. “Thank you, Amy. I don’t think I could live with myself if you hated me.”

“Life is too short to stay mad at one's sisters.”

After another quick but meaningful squeeze, Jo pulled back, “I do worry that you’ll be lonely in that house.”

Amy shook her head, “I’ll be fine.” She looked back at her friend still standing at the small table in the background, “I do think I’ll be quite alright.”

The meaning isn’t lost on Jo.

\------

Like all things, the party came to an end. The food-laden tables had been cleaned up, and the sun was ready to say goodnight. Jo gave Marmee one last, lingering hug before parting. She watched as her parents and sister made the short walk back to Orchard House. 

It was strange to watch them go, now forever without her. She wonders if it’ll be a little colder, a little quieter, though things have been way too quiet since the loss of Beth. 

Laurie wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her temple, “It’s strange, isn’t it? Everything’s changed, and yet I feel exactly the same.”

For some reason, Jo felt relieved at her husband’s confession. They were never too apart in thought and feeling. She leaned on him like he was the only thing holding her to this world.

“It is. I hated change for the longest time, but it’s not scary when I’m with you.”

“Jo Laurence, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were in love with me.” He teased.

Jo threw her head back in a laugh. It was unladylike and not dignified. It was very much Jo March.

She realized now that Jo Laurence didn’t have to be a different person.

“And you can consider yourself lucky that I am, Teddy.”

They walked inside, hand in hand. Laurie’s grandfather smiled at them and said this was Jo’s home now--that it always had been--and then he excused himself to his room.

Once he was gone, Laurie pulled her to his side, brushing his lips against hers.

She brought her hand to his head, lacing her fingers through his hair. She closed the distance between them, kissing him until her lungs burned. She bit at his lip, begging for him to open his mouth to her. He did, and she drank him in like the holiest of water. 

His hand brushed her waist--warm knuckles brushed down the side of her dress.

“Mr. Laurence, would you show us to our room?”

“I would love to, Mrs. Laurence.”

Jo refused to let her story end with a wedding. She felt every woman’s story ended married and no longer a person but a possession. That wouldn’t be her. She would be a wife, a daughter, a sister, a writer. She’d do what she wished and go where she pleased.

But now she has Laurie by her side through all of it. 

It was only the beginning.


End file.
